Rejected

Rejection. I know a lot about the subject. But despite how much it hurts nothing can top riding the high of having a new crush. I waste away days dreaming about a made up future life with someone who has peaked my interest. It’s the first page in your newest chapter, you’re immediately sucked into the ideals of your new world, leaving behind the worries of your past life. But then it all comes crumbling down around you because they don’t want you.

When I arrived on campus for my final year of undergrad I was confident and calm that my educational path would not be ending after that year. I spent the better part of autumn applying to law schools and graduate programs, pouring time and money into each application ensuring no i went undotted and no t was uncrossed. I wanted nothing but perfection to touch the hands of the admissions offices. And then I waited. I waited through the changing of the seasons and through friends acceptances it was as if I was watching the world go by and I was frozen in place.

But then it finally happened one beautiful Wednesday morning, Update Regarding Your Application. For a split second I was daydreaming about being with the university. Rerouting my life to another province, moving into a trendy downtown apartment, meeting new friends, falling in love with the institution. But my new life was gone as soon as it came, we regret to inform you...that’s all I needed to read. I was a mess. It was as if I had just had my heartbroken, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep and no one dare bring up the name of the institution who dumped me.

But like a break-up, I started hunting for a rebound. Which university could I see myself with? Who would make me the happiest? The daydreams slowly started coming back. I was settling with the idea of being with someone else. But that’s the problem with settling, it’s never what you truly want. Maybe the universe could sense that or maybe I was just a bad candidate but three more rejections came storming in like a blitz on my self-esteem.

And now as life moves past me, I’m forced to watch others find love with the schools who didn’t want me. And unfortunately for me I don’t think the girl code is applicable in this situation. So I sit on the sidelines like the funny best friend character to every rom-com’s dream leading lady and cheer her on. If I’m not getting the guy school, at least she is.

But just like the third act of a rom-com my leading man ran towards me in the rain, clutching an acceptance letter. My big movie love finally arrived but I was forced to keep living beyond the end credits and into the first week of classes.

Now here I am, finally dried off from the rain trying to make this relationship work.